My mother just called to ask me what a t-string was. You tell me, ma, is what I wanted to say. So I told her that I had no idea what a t-string was, choosing to ignore that small YOUKNOWDAMNWELLWHATSHE’STALKINGABOUT in my head but then she said, “You know, that underwear you wear that only [...]
Posts Tagged ‘sex’
flossy flossy
Posted in blog, tagged idiocy, mother, sex on June 8, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
sex incourse
Posted in blog, find of the day, tagged sex on April 15, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Yeah I finally did it. I lost my discretion, credit card in hand! So now my new cellphone looks like my mp3 player and my old cell phone had sex and forgot to use a condom. F0 (Parental) Generation: F1 (Offspring) Generation: HAHA. Mendel’s properties are applicably applied. My Anthro professor (and cool Swedish TA, [...]
two kinds of eggs
Posted in blog, eats, tagged sex on April 12, 2009 | 2 Comments »
In honor of Easter (a holiday I don’t give an egg about unless there’s chocolate involved), I’ve decided to indulge my penile fascination. They do make them bigger here in LA. Sirena is shaking her head right now at my redickulousness.
pitter pan
Posted in blog, tagged movie, sex on March 10, 2009 | 3 Comments »
Ariel is (fake) mad at me because I won’t watch “Return to Neverland” with her. In my defense, we’ve watched a ginormous amount of movies in the past few weekends. I can only vaguely remember a few. When we were debating what to watch on Friday night, I joked and said that we should watch [...]
darth vader
Posted in blog, eats, tagged birthday, sex on January 14, 2009 | 1 Comment »
Today is Joho‘s 19th annual crawl-out-of-her-mommy day! We are going out to eat sushi because it, like her, is very raw. I prefer the sixth definition because I’m not sure I’m ready to state that she’s “an uncut drug like heroin” or that she’s “sex without a condom.” HAPPY BLAIRDAY TO YOU! It promises to [...]
hindsight is looking at your ass
Posted in boys, floormates, tagged sex on October 29, 2008 | 4 Comments »
WHY CAN’T I TYPE IN COHERENT FOLLOWABLE PARAGRAPHS ANYMORE? Maybe it’s because I’ve used up all of my brain cells on my essays, but honestly, brain, SUCK IT UP. Anyway, I was rereading my diary from this summer that I had kept for like two weeks, basically, before I gave up. (Laziness, of course.) But [...]
getting busy come back later
Posted in boys, tagged sex on October 14, 2008 | 1 Comment »
So in regards to the sex Q, no, my roommates aren’t having sex in my room. But a boy down the hall is. I only bring him up because 1) I know the girl, and 2) I walked into the room while they were sleeping together. Nekkid. Saturday night, I basically chilled next door with [...]
math is hard
Posted in first step, tagged funsies, sex on October 13, 2008 | 1 Comment »
So I’m sitting here, getting ready to type out my life for the past few days only to realize that I’ve forgotten my past few days. Not that that should surprise anyone, least of all me, but now I’ve got to throw my think tank back and try to fish for something. OH, CLUBBING! Clubbing [...]
speaking of
Posted in blog, tagged mother, sex on September 10, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I wonder who actually reads my blog. That I know. HMM. Today I went to the doctor, my new lady doctor now that I’ve turned 18. Apparently my pediatrician doesn’t want me anymore and now my tiny waiting room doesn’t have the comforting TV playing Spongebob Squarepants and the colorful mini chairs that fit approximately [...]
no glove, no love
Posted in blog, tagged mother, sex on September 8, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Like two weeks ago, my mom attempted to have the “safe sex” talk with me. Or rather, AT me. It went along the lines, surprisingly, not of abstinence, but of condoms. She told me to 1) always use protection so I don’t accidentally get a baby and then drop out of college and regret it [...]
