change and yet not

I was talking with a friend recently regarding the concept of “do-overs,” you know, as in what if we had the potential to go back a few years or months or however-long to change parts of our lives. The possibility of re-living (not to be confused with reliving) certain parts of our individual lives due to a warp in the time-space continuum. You know.

Well, unless you’re very satisfied with your life, or have a very accepting attitude, or perhaps have that miraculous ability to forget about mistakes or regrets, you’d probably take me up on an offer for a do-over, right?

To go back to that time you had really great pie at this pie stand and regretted not buying one to bring home. Or that time you ate that peanut butter sandwich that had been sitting on your kitchen table for days only to come down with food poisoning the next day. Or those hours wasted on video games. Or when you couldn’t work up the guts to ask that guy out. Or when you did ask that guy and wished you hadn’t.

But what if I told you that your “do-over” had a stipulation? You could, at this very moment, choose the exact moment in time to rewind to and start your life again from there. However, you wouldn’t know that it was a “do-over” or have any details of your previous life. Nothing to base your “rewrite” on. Nothing to guide you. Sure you’d have moments of deja vu. Who doesn’t? But these could come at crucial moments like decisions about college or at mundane ones while you’re doing a load of laundry. You wouldn’t be able to bank on these moments of deja vu and honestly, you’d probably overlook most of them.

In the end, you’d have no idea if the path you were now following was the exact same path you had traveled upon previously. There are no indications.

But now, if you were aware that this life was a “do-over” life, I think you’d act differently. You would either be incredibly careful or incredibly careless. Would you strategize over every choice, taking so long to make the “right” decision that life would pass you by? That you’d fail to enjoy your second change? Or would you live life to its fullest, college be damned? Would you bank on the fact that there might be another “do-over” in your future?

I believe that many of us wish we could rewrite out own lives to better fit how we want our lives to end up. I do, at least. I wish that I could rewrite it to my satisfaction, smoothing out the rough edges, the not-so-happy moments. But even if I had the opportunity, I’m not sure what I’d do differently. Would I have chosen a different school, a different career? Or would I have done the exact same thing I’m doing right now?

Is this very moment a “do-over”? Are parallel universes just “do-overs” in another temporal and spacial dimension? Someone must know, right? Or not.


Feel free not to read this UNLESS YOU are BEN FLAJNIK or watch The Bachelor!

First off: Poor Kacie B.  She’s so sweet and nice and so freaking in love with him. And she’d be the PERFECT settle-down wife…which is what you claim you’re looking for. 

Second: Sam was sweet and maybe she was a little too pushy but that poor girl had feelings for him.

Third: How dumb is he?! Courtney’s playing him like a fiddle…with one string. Seriously Ben needs to realize that she’s NEVER gonna give up her modeling to settle down with him in SONOMA. They don’t hire manipulative models in small towns like Sonoma! 

Ben, if you end up with Courtney, you’re an idiot and it will PROVE that you’re not looking to settle down…and that they should have chosen a better Bachelor (I’m still hoping Mickey will make a last minute appearance.) 

Also, Courtney’s a gigantic bitch. If you think that was just her TV persona–good luck with that. There’s no way the producers could have twisted what she said THAT much. She is mean-spirited and manipulative and is NOT friendly. You are looking at a lifetime of bitchiness and an early divorce, Ben. 

hunger games

The Hunger Games (and Catching Fire, and Mockingjay) were amazing. I’ve basically spent the past few days reading them and now feel appropriately sated with words and resolution. I’m actually really surprised that this book is marketed to teenagers because there’s so much action in it. And feelings and strong characters and blood and injury. It’s like Battle Royale, but with a better backstory and plot.

Here’s the trailer for The Hunger Games. Jennifer Lawrence is just how I imagined Katniss–dark hair and that same attitude she had in Winter’s Bone. I’m really excited for when it comes out!!

Go ahead. Pry yourself out from under that rock now.


Omg Monique Lhuillier. Can I have this dress?


Just RSVP’d to a free screening of Extremely Loud, Incredibly Close only to realize that I won’t be able to go because I’ll be stuck bubbling in multiple choice responses on my final.

I’M SO SAD. Why!

one day

One day I want to be classy. Old and classy.

yeah girl